so, i tried to write a book…
Happy summer! We may be a bit heat-sensitive (find your A/C!!), but the opportunity for natural vitamin D is here, with bountiful sun!
Have you ever experienced serious adversity and thought, “hey, I could inspire others! Why don’t I write about it?” Sure, we have. I did (having spent two weeks in a university hospital in 2017, being told I wouldn’t walk without assistance again; and now I run, lift… everything I used to do…).
So last summer, when one of my jobs calmed down (i.e. I had a bit more time), I wrote. A lot. I believe it ended up being around 50 pages single-spaced… the story of that major flareup, starting from “oh, it’s just minor” to my figuring out the South African healthcare system (which is where I experienced the beginning of the flare) to my hospital stay back in Seattle, to my physical and mental recovery.
Of course, it was a draft. I had my husband read it… and it lacked drama. How can a story like that one lack drama? I realized that I’d mentally blocked out some of the most difficult parts of my hospital stay, apparently. You’d think I’d have such a strong memory of two weeks of neurological exams, IVs, procedures, needles, being given uncertain news — but, to be honest, not much of it has stuck with me. The brain has an amazing means of coping with difficult situations.
In the end, I guess that means that this book might not happen. But, talking it all out, even to myself, helped me cope with some of the changes in my life. We always talk about MS being an “invisible illness” for so many of us, and that could not be any truer for me: I may be (mostly) physically recovered from that 2017 attack, but the psychological and emotional damage will never fully heal.
Be well.
Filed under: Uncategorized | 6 Comments
Tags: autobiography, autoimmune attack, autoimmune disease, challenges of writing memoir, hospital visit, medical, ms, ms attack, ms flareup, ms uncertainty, multiple sclerosis, multiple sclerosis flareup, on writing, overcoming adversity, writing a book
In Search of My New Normal 
I agree: talking it out, or extensive journaling (your case), does begin to lift the burden. Good for you! ❤
Part of it is knowing that there’s someone there to listen. Thanks to you and the other readers! ❤
I write to live, it helps.I grew up writing.My father was a writer, Have you read Julia Cameron? Morning pages? Write 3 pages every morning. Your book can happen
I just don’t know if I can even pull the experiences back again… or if I even *want* to…
Writing does help ease the emotional stress. While you might not ever recall everything, who knows if your journal / book might help someone in the future. Each time you post you reach out to others and give them well-researched information. Don’t stop your writing please. In helping yourself you are truly helping others. You are definitely a caring person. I’m proud you.
Oh, I don’t plan to stop writing here (until I run out of ideas…) — but the journey from my hospitalization to continued recovery, I just don’t remember everything as a result of PTSD.