mid-life crises and chronic illness


So, in less than a month, I have a relatively big birthday coming up… it’s not a “decade”, but I will be 45. Some of my age-peers are tossing around the typical mid-life crisis talk — where they want to be in 10 years, is this what life is all about, why is the sky blue… you know the drill.

What happens when you throw a life-changing chronic illness into the mix? For me, it amplifies the effect a bazillion-fold.

Not only do I start questioning what I want to do with the “second half” (ugh) of my life, but there’s a lot greater urgency: what if MS throws me a curveball and leaves me disabled in a year? Tomorrow? Will what I do in the coming year matter? What about in the next few hours? And all those “bucket list” things I’ve always wanted to do, suddenly becoming seriously urgent.

All in all, it’s making me a nutcase. Difficult. Neurotic. Others can’t relate to me. I can’t relate to others.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a solution I’ve been working on meditation and mindfulness — “enjoying the moment” — but that doesn’t remove the nagging feeling, that persistent voice telling me that my life, as I know it, probably truly is short, and I gotta get my stuff together.

One Response to “mid-life crises and chronic illness”

  1. 1 Sharon Yool

    Telling someone to enjoy the moment is easy for someone who doesn’t have health concerns as you’ve said. Being an advocate for continued research as well as keeping updated yourself can help (which you do). Know that you have a good support system.

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