how did i become so fearful?

18Nov15

This is an awful trend I’ve been noticing in my life… I’ve been developing fears. Some justifiable, others not. And they’ve been piling up enough that I wonder what’s going to happen next. Especially since all of my life threatening medical concerns of last year, I’ve had the “live life with no fear” mantra, but the inner voice keeps taking over. What’s up with that?

For instance, I’m starting to become a nervous flyer. We hear about the horrible accidents (and attacks) in the news, so whenever anything weird happens with turbulence, or a weird sound, I start getting nervous. But I love traveling, so flying is inevitable. I just keep reminding myself of all of the flights that happen all over the world, with no problems, that you don’t hear about on the news — it’s only a very small percent that have things go wrong.

Another thing I’ve noticed on my past to ER visits (yes, I unfortunately have many) — I now get slightly uncomfortable even with saline drip starting in an IV. Back in July, I had a very bad reaction to a drug given to me by IV, and I think I’ll have a fear of any liquid given by IV for a while, even though I keep telling myself with the saline that it’s something naturally found in the body (and, I’m already in a hospital when they’re giving it to me, so if I were to have a bad reaction, a nurse could be there quickly).

I’m going to try not to think about “what else”, because that would just be begging for more, right? Hopefully since these are all that come to mind, I won’t be adding any new significant fears to the list. (I consider things like “fear of bungee jumping” quite reasonable.)

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One Response to “how did i become so fearful?”

  1. As you know, I try to live a life without fear as well. But as was told to me by a five year Stage 4 Breast Cancer survivor, “You’d have to be crazy – or stupid – not to be scared some of the time!” (P.S. I love her no bullshit attitude!) I’m actually “lucky”, if you can look at it that way, that part of my condition requires me to take anti-seizure meds which also treat anxiety – which I think helps. I’ve found that Guided Meditation has really helped me when I “go there”. Youtube has so many videos to help talk you down, so to speak. You could experiment with some and if you find a few that really help, you could download them and turn them into MP3’s to listen to with headphones when you need to. The point is: it’s perfectly normal in your “New Normal” world! 🙂 Every new symptom, shall we say? requires us to find coping skills to deal with them. And I know you are strong and capable and will work through this, as you have so many times before. Go, Brooke! Xoxoxo June ❤ #mfbcfnw


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